Psalm 34:8 says:
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Trusting in Him. That’s not something I ever wanted to do in the past. I was completely satisfied (or so I thought) with relying on my own strength. My own wisdom. My own abilities.
The problem was everything I did led to destruction and death. Proverbs 14:12 talks about that. There is a way that seems right to a man…
My marriage was failing. My relationships were empty. I had no idea how to love anyone. I was a dried up cup with nothing at all to offer.
It took falling into the deepest, blackest pit of despair imaginable for me to realize how much I needed someone other than myself. I was lost in a darkness threatening to destroy everything in my life. The enemy had kept me captive to addiction and selfishness for 33 years.
It’s insane how guilt, shame, and condemnation can hold us as slaves to fear. I was so afraid to approach God with all my junk. As if He didn’t already know about it. It was impossible for me to boldly enter the throne room of grace and crawl up onto His lap.
I was lost in a sea of identity crisis. For way too long, I had allowed everything except Christ to define who I was. To write my story. To create a false identity.
After 17 years of a drowning marriage, with my wife ready to walk out forever, something happened. Even though I still can’t explain it, I knew God was doing something in me. Transforming me. Renewing me. Changing me on the inside.
I realized that in order to live, I had to die. Die to self. Die to addiction. Die to fear. Die to behavior modification that had never been successful.
It was in that very moment, the moment I said, “Okay, God. It’s yours. All of this I’ve been trying to overcome. It’s yours,” that everything changed. One taste of His goodness, and my new heart burst into glorious life. A heartbeat in tune with the Father. A mind beginning the renewal process.
A life no longer dedicated to living for myself.
I have tasted and seen that Papa is good. So good. Everything else has lost its appeal. My relationship with Him has grown in leaps and bounds just over the last couple of weeks. I’m hearing His voice more clearly than ever.
I feel such a deeper, more intimate closeness with my wife, Jennifer. As our respective relationships with God develop further, the overflow pours into our marriage. Our communication has flourished. We can see God moving in our lives in such powerful ways.
I was lost, but now I’m found. I was in darkness, but now I’m in light. I was blind, but now I can see.
I don’t know any other ways to describe the awesome peace and beauty I’ve found in trusting my Father. In relationship with Daddy God.
Taste and see that the Lord is good. He will not leave you disappointed.